Our neighbor to the north...
...who was taking care of her mother until her mother's recent death turned right around and took on caretaking for her aunt (not sure if it is her mother's or father's sister). Just contemplating her dedication to caretaking for Ancient Ones to whom she is related causes me to catch my mental breath. I spoke to her a few days ago when the weather was cooler and I happened to glimpse her down the street, as I had noticed that she had, earlier, been with whom I assumed was an Ancient Related Visitor.
    She is enthusiastic about taking care of her aunt. I forgot to ask my northern caretaking neighbor how old her aunt is but I do know, from observing them together and talking to her aunt, that this caretaking adventure will be much different than was her adventure with her mother. Her mother had a long time neurological disorder that worsened exponentially over the last five years. The disorder affected her speech and, although before two years ago dementia had not been a problem for her mother, within the last two years the daughter confided to me that she thought her mother's "mind was going"; communication was becoming increasingly difficult because the daughter was finding it less and less easy to understand what her mother was trying to convey times two. Over the last 2 years, too, her mother needed to be placed in a nursing home for periods of time when the level of care she needed was beyond the scope of in-home care. She also suffered a series of strokes in the months before she died and ambulances frequently appeared outside their home.
    Her aunt, though, reminds me of my mother. I talked to them together briefly but there were certain details that led me to think that, for my northern caretaking neighbor, this adventure would be much less rigorous. Her aunt was readily understandable, both approaching and approachable, and although she struck me as fey in the same sense as my mother I think, as with my mother, had I not been around someone slipping back and forth between what us younger people think of as reality and the reality of Ancient Ones I would certainly have thought, as most people who visit us only occasionally or talk to my mother on the telephone think of my mother, that she is completely capable and "old" only in body. Her aunt even seems to favor the same swept up, French Twist hair style as my mother and carries her head as though at one time she was considered a beauty, as my mother was. She appears to be much more active than my mother but, then, my mother, when in public, appears to be more active than she is.
    The daughter seems completely renewed and ready for this new responsibility. She even seems freed, as her bawdy personality was always subdued when I saw her with her mother but she is able to let loose with her aunt and be who she has been with me when I ran into her alone.
    Still, I can't help but shake my head in amazement at her decision to do this for a woman who is vital enough to be around for some years to come. I admire her ability to do this. I don't think I'll have it in me to do this again when my adventure with my mother comes to an end.
- posted by gail rae @ 00:28   email...this post