Busy and wonderful day!
    She's done so well today! Very alert, energetic (for her), no nap, oxygen all the way up. This time I used the excuse that there is no smoking when the cats are in the car, which is true, then added, "...so, why don't you go ahead and wear the oxygen all the way up?" I noticed something interesting. Her breathing was a bit less quick than it was on Wednesday. I also noticed, as the puffs of the OCD mimicked her breathing (it delivers oxygen only when the user breathes in, thus, it is an Oxygen Conserving Device), how slow and deep my breathing is in comparison to hers. I mean, hers couldn't be very deep if she is breathing as fast as she is. But today she breathed slower, about half as fast as Wednesday, which, while her breathing was still about an intake a second at times and not necessarily dependent on altitude, her breathing also seemed more relaxed. Maybe she's just getting used to breathing oxygen during the day. Good, I say.
    That's right. No nap, although she slept a good twelve hours (give or take a half hour, here and there, to eat cheese) last night. I know the oxygen is, at this time, largely responsible for this. That's okay with me. I intend to take advantage of the opportunity this will offer to expand her lung capacity.
    She is, again, as was once usual and is, in some ways, unusual this time, in love with this house in Prescott and the property, again. She's talking about letting go of the mobile home in Mesa. She asked me tonight how I'd feel about that.
    I laughed. "I'd be deliriously happy!"
    "I thought you might say that," her eyes focused, her eyebrows cocked as though she'd just revealed she'd learned something new and valuable about me that even I might not know.
    I love it when old age allows people to discover the people in their lives anew.
    She asked about the friends I have in Mesa.
    I told her they are mobile and have proven so many times.
    She asked, I think to test her own reactions, which she wasn't revealing, to these 'new' thoughts, what I'd miss.
    I was honest with her. I'll miss our mechanics. I'll miss her hair dresser and the community of women to which we belong by virtue of her being a regular client. I'll miss the orange and grapefruit trees. I will. "But," I added, "I'm not sure any of those are worth continuing to bleed ourselves by holding on to that mobile home."
    "I think you might be right," she said. Not, please note, "You may be right," which means "You are not right and you're being silly to boot, but I'm too genteel to point it out and, anyway, I'm sure you know you're being silly," but, "I think you might be right." That means she's considering the efficacy and truth of an idea from her typically optimistic perspective.
    Not that we wouldn't miss the Mesa place. But it would be so much more convenient to simply rent a room for a night to visit, then return to Prescott.
    So many possibilities. Pinch me, I feel as though I'm dreaming the beginning of my mother's ninth life, or one of the later ones, anyway.
- posted by gail rae @ 22:52  0 comments   email...this post

 
Once I got her going...
...by pushing and pushing, but nothing unusual, she held up pretty well. We took in a short trip to Costco. Of her own accord she latched onto a shopping cart in the parking lot to wheel into the store. I usually take her firmly by her right arm and we walk at her pace wherever we're going until we get to the cart section at the store. I cautioned her, before she touched the handle of the cart, that it may be warm, she may want to wait until we reached the ones in the shade about half a Costco parking lot away.
    She verbally slapped me away. "I can get there on my own," she insisted, "I walk better when I push something."
    Exactly what I say to her every time we go some place through which she can negotiate from the business end of a cart.
    Something I haven't mentioned, before: Since it's been over two years since she's driven shopping carts, she is comically unaware of where the cart's hind wheels are going. She hangs herself up on shelving corners on the ends of aisles. I try to perform reconnaissance for her but that doesn't always work. She is so funny, affectionately amusing type of funny. On the one hand, she is super careful of other people in stores including, as you'll remember, helping our queue mates unload their carts. [Every time she does this, I have the urge to say, jokingly, "Take inventory before you leave the store, you gotta watch out for this woman!"]
    We ate a lunch of polish sausage and sauerkraut. She downed, gratefully, a full glass of that "light" lemonade that she likes.
    She announced matter-of-factly, on our way home at about 1430, that she was suddenly tired. We were going to go to Target for some cheap essentials but from the way she told me she was tired I knew it was time to take her home.
    I still had another two hours of shopping and business to do. When I returned she was still asleep but light enough so that the closing of the door awoke her. She's still up now, at 2034, watching Animal Planet, drinking coffee, pointing stuff out to me as I type on the computer behind her.
    I like it this way. It's been a long time.
    Much earlier today during breakfast, which occurred appropriately early for her, she asked me in dead seriousness, "What should we do about this place, here?"
    I sighed. I decided not to hide my weariness of the subject. I 'reminded' her [as, I don't think there is such as thing as 'reminding' her, anymore] that we beat that poor horse half to death yesterday afternoon. Before she had a chance to say that she didn't remember I said, "I know you don't remember, but I don't want to think about that today, it's not necessary. So, we're not going to talk about it."
    She could tell I had just about had it. She was gracious enough to back down but warned me that the subject would come up again. Of course it will. At a time when I have the energy to deal with it. Again.
    Tomorrow will be the heavy duty switch of cars from 0430 to, well, I'll probably get back by shuttle, at 1030. Then we'll pack up the essentials I didn't pack tonight or in the morning (the computer will go up before sunrise), the cats, the Mom, do a mini-close on the house (turn off water, water heater, boost a/c thermostat [we'll be back and forth for probably a week so I'm not turning off the power until sometime next week]) and head up the mountain. I don't expect to get in more than one blood glucose reading, maybe in the late morning, maybe at night. She'll get her medicine but flexibly, and, well, we're moving and if you know her you know that she will be excited; slow, due to being ancient, but excited. I'm expecting a good day.
    Later, probably much later.
- posted by gail rae @ 20:57  0 comments   email...this post

 
Forgot to mention...
...more for my own reference [in case you're wondering, I do not reread my stuff here hardly at all] and as a reminder to post something, soon, in the Mom's Medications page: I have been giving her 3 Detrol every two days. It helps her retain water not unnaturally. I have to closely monitor her intake, though. I have had to rigorously massage her into a water shed once since I began upping her Detrol.
- posted by gail rae @ 07:07  0 comments   email...this post

 
Catching up: Blood Glucose readings through yesterday...
...have been updated. Go to Ain't She 2 Sweet - 2003. Nothing surprising to me, although I wonder how many of her ups and downs have to do with the traveling.
    The last few days have reminded me that she has a 'travelin' [wo]man' gene. It continues to kick in. We've talked, over the last 48 hours, about moving to Australia. Or New Zealand. It was only half fantasy. I've been wondering lately how much stamina my mother has recovered; or, perhaps, better put, how much stamina she still has, considering her survival of the last 2 - 2½ years.
    Maybe 5 days ago Driving Miss Daisy aired. I have never seen the entire movie, although I know, since its release, my mother has seen it several times, once in a theater. She didn't remember seeing it previously when we watched it this airing but she enjoyed it. Once again, I did not see all of it.
    I was struck by how much more emotionally melodic the film seems to me now that I have been companioning my mother through her aging. What seemed previously to be a smart, sweet film, now surprises me with its intimate, unadorned, almost self-conscious portrayal of old age. As time advanced through the film I was able to fill in the gaps between years. I remember wondering, as the scene wherein Miss Daisy literally relives her years as a teacher (my mother was a teacher almost her entire life; it was her calling, I would say) how many years prior Miss Daisy might have begun to wear paper underwear.
    Today? Hmmm...hair day, buy some sweater shirts at Costco for her, probably buy her a polish sausage with sauerkraut and a 'light' (I'm not sure if that means no sugar...it tastes surprisingly good for an artificially sweetened drink) lemonade, both of which she loves. I should probably pack some boxes, ready the computer for early shipment tomorrow. I've got calls to make, calls to answer...I've put off making another delivery run until, maybe, Sunday.
    We've got a ton of oxygen and a second concentrator which will help us negotiate the curious layout of the Prescott house. I'm a little overwhelmed with having to transport all that up. I've decided to leave the house down here 'on', maybe through next week. Mom and I will make some delivery runs from our base in Prescott as we begin our life there.
    I remarked to MD[dear]CFs yesterday afternoon that it didn't seem like we were making the startling break that's usual when we move. I guess we aren't, since we'll be closing the Prescott house back down and returning to Mesa in November.
    I gave her 850 mgs metformin last night. I've also been giving her an iron tablet twice a day since last Saturday on a hunch, just in case. I don't know whether I've noticed anything or not. Sometimes I think, in regard to my mother, I am developing some of that 'second sight' technique my mother used to teach pilots in WWII: recognizing and acting on what is recognized before conscious awareness. I am pleased about this.
    I am purposely slowing us down. It feels right to me.
- posted by gail rae @ 06:57  0 comments   email...this post

 
Can you give me a few more minutes?
    Not that I've explicitly asked anyone that today but I've been operating from that implicit question. Busy. And calm. And running late all day. Around Mom. She spent most of the day, no, excuse me, all of the day at home. I think she may have spent less time sleeping than she believes because when I finally arrived home with dinner she was awake, had eaten through almost a bag of popcorn, the TV was on, loud, so she had actually been trying to listen to it rather than use it as background noise for a nap. She gave me two different stories about whether she'd spent most of the day sleeping but it wasn't, and isn't, important.
    Her spirit is good. So is mine. I am, also, tired. Hopefully just tonight. We are going to be transporting less stuff before the move than I thought. I think it is important that tomorrow we use Mom's last hair appointment with her usual hair dresser as a pivot point around which the entire day is filled with some mild and stimulating activity, conversation, etc.
    I am running on nervous energy now, reviewing everything. Mom has been a bit foggy since Prescott. I'm not sure whether that's shell shock or, I don't know. Whatever, I'm giving her some supplemental iron right now. I don't think it will hurt her.
    Her blood sugar is another matter. I've been giving her almost regular doses of metformin but usually only a well timed once a day, if that. I modulate the dosage depending on her previous reading. I took one reading recently, although I've packed the glucometer (I may get it out before we move and record some of the readings, I may not) of 225, I think. I have no idea why. But spikes like that deserve 1000 mgs. A spike of 156, I believe, which I got today, gets 850 mgs. She stayed up all evening and we talked, watched TV, I wandered around putting things in boxes, finding things, losing things, until we finally stopped and stared at the set for awhile.
    In an effort to make the transition smooth and inviting I've already scheduled her first hair appointment in Prescott for Wednesday, September 17th. Oh! I just realized! Perfect timing for the book club meeting! Great! Our Prescott hair specialist (she really is more of a hair sculptor than a beautician) is excited about seeing both of us again, I'm excited about seeing her and my mother is having bouts of remembering who her hair sculptor is and wondering how she's doing. "I'd like to see her again," she said today.
    I will probably create a mood ring of a recording here of various periods throughout the last few and next few days that particularly strike me and why. But that will come later, in the oxygen-thin digestion of moving slow down.
- posted by gail rae @ 23:49  0 comments   email...this post

 
Crazy busy and exhilarating.
    That's how it is now. I haven't found time to even post blood glucose results and they went a little crazy yesterday, another adjustment was necessar, and we're back to normal (for Mom) again. Moving continues. It looks as though it will continue for a few days to a week from our base in Prescott as of Saturday but that's okay, I'm not complaining.
    Just to let you know, Mom had a great time in Prescott yesterday. So did I. We used the portable oxygen on and off with out a hitch. Yes, she still had smoking breaks, but her overall health is so good that she went the entire day without a nap and stayed up until almost midnight last night. She is, as usual, more than grateful that we have "that house up there", is looking forward to the work we plan to do on it once we negotiate a home equity loan and said this morning, "You know, I think I'm going to enjoy being in Prescott, again. I'm looking forward to moving up there. I wonder if we should consider selling this house down here." For those of you who know her, the last sentence is a sentence I never thought I'd hear from her!
    More, much more later, including updates on her blood glucose readings, much later, probably beginning Sunday.
    I'm stoked. Mom is stoked. The Girls are still insisting, as always, that, rather than endure the car trip, they'll stay down here, take jobs and keep the house open. So everything is going well, better than I expected considering how the use of the portable oxygen changed the tone of what could have been a draggy trip to Prescott. As well, everything is operating as it should at our house in Prescott, including the water heater and the refrigerator. My fears were completely unfounded. I'm hopeful and excited. So is Mom. What a miracle!
    Later.
- posted by gail rae @ 11:15  0 comments   email...this post

 
A short note from a very tired journalist.
    What a day. We only got in one blood glucose reading, the morning one, and it was on the high side, in the 140's, I think. I can barely think about everything else that went on and some of the conclusions I reached, which I'm still trying to digest and to which I am still trying to adjust. I'll explain more later, probably after we are up in Prescott on Saturday.
    Tomorrow is our first delivery trip, although my day today was so completely sidetracked that I'm not sure how much stuff we'll actually transfer tomorrow. We need to go, though, and make sure the Prescott part of the mail switch took place and, I guess, make sure the place is still standing. I have a funny feeling we're going to be greeted with either a water heater or a refrigerator that has stopped functioning, but we'll see tomorrow.
    More later, in fits and starts. This move is going to be a challenge, but my shoulder is already to the wheel and aching a bit. Once again, wish me luck and send me energy, I'm still in need of both and in need of more. Thank you.
- posted by gail rae @ 22:56  0 comments   email...this post

 
A storm, that I thought would bypass us,...
...as have so many other summer storms this year, is going to hit us tomorrow throughout the entire state so we won't be taking our first delivery trip tomorrow, but Wednesday. Too many crosswind channels on I-17 and State Route 69 to worry about for me to try to attempt it. Even if we end up taking a delivery trip or two after we relocate on Saturday I'd rather do that then end up on the floor of a wash or canyon tomorrow, or fishtailed into an immobile edifice.
- posted by gail rae @ 23:48  0 comments   email...this post

 
We are on our way to Prescott...
...although the procedure takes a good week. We began in earnest late last week. Our first Absolutely Moved Day, when The Girls (our cats) come with us, will be Saturday. In the meantime I may not be posting much except for blood glucose readings...it's been very busy since we finally, this year, focused on Prescott.
    I'm not sure why Mom's blood glucose was so high this morning. I did notice, this weekend, when I was looking for a full bag of croutons I knew we had that only a few crumbs were left in the bottom of the bag so it's possible that she's waking in the middle of the night and eating, which is her occasional habit. There's not much I can do about this and I'm not sure I'd want to but if it becomes a more than occasional habit I'll probably try to control her blood glucose with 850 mg metformin at night.
    Otherwise, the 192 afternoon spike on Saturday was my fault. Mom arose at exactly the time I received a surprise (it was a Saturday, after all) business call regarding our refinancing that I was extremely reluctant to put off. So, I ushered her through our morning routine while I continued with what turned out to be a very long call. As a result I not only forgot to take her blood glucose reading I also forgot to administer her dose of glipizide. That taught me a lesson about answering the phone when Mom has just arisen. Things start hot and heavy as soon as she wakes up, so it might be best from now on if I let voice mail get the phone during our morning routine, as I typically do if she and I are involved in giving her a bath or some other maintenance activity that requires both hands and/or strict attention.
    Sunday, however, was pretty typical glucose wise. This morning she was a bit on the high side but, after her hair appointment we had some shopping to do so she got some walking in and it snapped back to normal at lunch. She's already requested a junk food dinner (we haven't had junk food for awhile), but, depending on what her reading is, I may not bother with metformin tonight and see "how it all comes out in the wash" tomorrow morning. As well, we're making delivery trips to Prescott tomorrow and Wednesday which will involve some more exercise for her so I'm not too worried about what her blood sugar will do over the next few days.
    We will be experimenting with the oxygen in the car tomorrow so, as our oxygen guy suggested, "I can get the practice". It'll be interesting. She won't be able to smoke on the way up. I've also banned smoking over the last few years when we transfer the cats because one of our cats suffers from motion sickness. I remember, when I was a kid before I could drive and, thus, suffered from motion sickness almost every time I rode in a car that my parents' cigarette smoke worsened my misery. Mom has been cooperative with not smoking when the cats are in the car. I hope she'll also be cooperative (with some reminders, I'm sure) with the oxygen/smoking ban.
    She isn't as excited as I am about being able to spend a couple of months in Prescott this year. I'm working on her response to Prescott. It is completely emotional and unreasonable, especially considering that she really wanted the house when we bought it; so much that, when I tried to talk her out of it, reminding her of her innate emotional problem with Prescott and the fact that Prescott was not my choice for a summer place, she refused to listen to me. Curiously, I was the one who made the adjustment and now love Prescott. She hasn't yet. I am, though, being stubborn about insisting that she once again try, in part, now, because from a health standpoint Prescott has a lot more to offer her than Mesa. There are plenty of places to walk and exercise for free, lots of outdoor people-watching places that don't involve having to be in stores, my support network up there loves my mother and is completely amenable to me bringing her along to almost any place or function I attend (although, to be fair, this is also true of my support network down here) and the Veteran's Hospital is only 5 miles from our house. Up until this period of my adventure with my mother I have allowed her to stay at home when she didn't want to go someplace with me, both in Prescott and here. That, unfortunately, worked against her general health and, as well, against her emotional perception of Prescott. Now, because she has to come with me at least for awhile and we have the tools, both oxygen and a wheelchair, if needed, we're going to do it my way. I'm hoping that she'll come to see Prescott in a different light.
    Wish me luck. More, later, as time allows between delivery trips, "final" visits with people down here and business we must handle before moving.
- posted by gail rae @ 17:04  0 comments   email...this post

 
It's been a very, very full weekend.
I'll post more tomorrow, hopefully, if life settles down, a bit.
- posted by gail rae @ 23:32  0 comments   email...this post