My mother's recovery is not a miracle.
    This is an important realization. Although the word "miraculous" has been pushing its way into the more conscious regions of my brain within the past few days, the more I consider its meaning the more I realize that it is important that all involved with my mother and anyone reading this who is taking care of An Ancient One understand that what happened to my mother is completely understandable and repeatable in the mundane area of life.
    Why is this important? When we attribute reversals of fortune to the miraculous, we surrender the ability we have to understand, produce and reproduce what we are calling "miraculous". In the case of my mother and her astounding reaction to submitting to a bowel cleansing and having her medication cut by more than half, although the cause and cure of her ailing were discovered by accident, everything about her release from those ailments addressed by Tuesday's and Wednesday's procedures is clearly understandable, repeatable and suggest explicit instructions, able to be followed by anyone in unmiraculous circumstances, for how to keep her from falling victim to these ailments, again, for awhile, anyway, until Life decides to take her life.
    This is not to say that any prayers offered on her behalf did not work. This is not to say that I did not pray that this procedure, which I did not feel good about, would be successful. My attitude toward prayer is such that it would not be inappropriate to state that I exist in a state of constant prayer: I have made it a decades-long habit to always remain aware of and open to the mysterious and, on a moment to moment basis, imagine that everything I think, do and am is being projected out toward all of which I incapable of clearly thinking, reasonably doing and obviously being. This activity includes the constant forming and projecting of questions, needs and requests. I don't stop there, though. I continue using every ounce of my being to discover reasonable explanations for problems and repeatable solutions to events. I assume that the force we call "God" (and imagine, individually, in a myriad of ways) is shot throughout existence and available to us in an infinite number of ways, including as a being conjured in our image (note the reversal of the supposition that a god made us in its image). Nor do I doubt that miracles happen. I believe, though, that the miraculous is always a manifestation of something we don't yet understand and thus cannot yet attribute to our own devices, or the devices of other units and/or forces of existence.
    This being said, I have entered into a continual state of expressible and inexpressible gratitude to All That I Do and Don't Understand in regards to the change taking place in my mother. A large part of this gratitude is toward the gift of the inclination I have to search inexhaustibly for explanations and solutions.
    Regarding the entire Colonoscopy Experience, the only part of it that I now consider miraculous (in the sense of not having an explanation for it) is the gastro-enterologist's reversal of her fall position of scoping in regards to my mother. Granted, she was solicited to scope her anyway, but her previous position was so completely pro-scoping for anyone, if, for no other reason than "the history" of it, that for her to announce, after performing a procedure that appeared to me (and on papaer) to be well tolerated by my mother, that it had been "torture" and she did not want to be party to that type of torture again, was completely unexpected, no doubt not only by me but by her, as well.
    And now, back to the business of life, which I have begun to consider is, through the process of evolution of which problem solving is the fundament, the process of learning how to understand (at any level, whether conscious awareness is involved or not) and repeat the "miraculous", thus allowing for the development of even more curious levels of Miracle Play.
- posted by gail rae @ 09:07   email...this post